Happy Valentine's Day!

A word for all employers on Valentine's Day:

Does Cupid have Your Employees in his Sights?

It is that time of year again. Flowers and hearts, chocolates and cards. But, what is an employer to do if the objects of his or her employees’ affections are their co-workers, supervisors, or the people they supervise? What’s more, what happens if the affections are not reciprocated? Or, what if they are?

Valentines’ Day seems to give many employees a “free pass” to be playful and romantic at work. Heart-shaped candies that say “Be Mine” are left on people’s desks. Chocolate roses are presented. Jovial cards reminiscent of grade school days are given. E-cards are sent (using office computers, of course.) Harmless, right?

Maybe yes, maybe no. Not to criticize harmless fun, but where is the line to be drawn at the workplace? While most people don’t view cupid as being a sexual being, there is no mistaking the message of many of the provocative gifts, cards and e-cards sent at work on Valentine’s Day. People often consider Valentine’s Day as being exempt from company rules and regulations about inappropriate workplace conduct. It is Valentine’s Day, remember romance?

When affections are directed at someone who does not share the feeling, the object of the affection could feel put upon, uncomfortable, or even worse, sexually harassed! And if the person presenting the “friendly valentine” is a supervisor, then the unwilling recipient could feel obligated to reciprocate in order not to offend the person who evaluates her work and determines her raises.

What about the co-workers of the person who receives that special box of chocolates or roses? Those people see their supervisor showing valentine’s favoritism towards their co-worker, may suddenly believe he is treating her better than he is treating them. She will get the better assignments, the “plum” positions, and a higher raise. She is the manager’s “love interest,” his paramour, which makes the other employees feel uncomfortable and mistreated. Claims can be filed by both the unreceptive “love interest,” as well as the uncomfortable co-workers. It is a “lose-lose” situation for the employer and the Romeo supervisor.

What can be equally as uncomfortable is a situation where there is reciprocity of affection. Whether amongst co-workers or managers, outward displays of affection in the workplace, on Valentines Day or not, can make others in the workforce feel uncomfortable. Employees may not like watching people hugging at work, awkward that they may be next to be hugged (or that they need to allow themselves to be hugged to be accepted.) Employees may draw the conclusion that the way one “gets ahead” in the company is by becoming romantically involved with a supervisor. Employees may get nauseous hearing too many “honey, baby, sweetie” remarks at work.

Then, what happens if the once-consensual relationship sours? What was once welcome behavior by both people suddenly becomes unwelcome by one of them. The affectionate remarks, cards, gifts, and “love taps” suddenly is offensive, and considered to be harassing by the former love interest. Many companies have even sought legal counsel to create “love contracts,” where the participants in the consensual relationship acknowledge that the relationship exists, that it is consensual, and that nothing that happens between the two love birds can be considered harassment. That is, of course, until one of the love birds flies from the relationship and lets their employer know that the “love contract” is no longer in effect. Not only can this disrupt the relationship between the individuals involved, it can also disrupt operations. From office gossip to arranging for quickie job transfers, the “break up” can dominate a once-productive workplace.

The best way for employers to protect themselves and their employees from uncomfortable and unwelcome activity, both on Valentine’s Day and throughout the year, is by making sure that all employees are trained about sexual harassment, how to respond, and how to complain. In some places (like California), this training is mandated by law for many employers. Even though employers cannot control how their employees interact, training ensures that they have done what they can to educate their employees.

Maybe employers should pick Valentine’s Day to do sexual harassment training? Long-stemmed chocolate roses for everyone!

If you would like to find out more about sexual harassment issues, check out my podcast at http://employerhelpcast.blip.tv/file/270431/. Also, all employers should (and all employers with 50 or more employees MUST) conduct sexual harassment training. To find out more about employers' sexual harassment training obligations, check out http://employerhelpcast.blip.tv/file/337812/

Happy Valentine's Day

Helene